Empowering Individuals to Improve Mental Well-Being
Let's Talk About Anxiety
Anxious Feelings vs. Anxiety Disorders: How to Tell the Difference
Feeling anxious from time to time is a normal and even healthy part of being human. Whether it’s before a big presentation, during a job interview, or while waiting for important news, anxious feelings are a natural response to stress and uncertainty. But when do these feelings cross the line into being an anxiety disorder?
Anxiety is thought to be the most common mental health issue globally, yet it is often underdiagnosed and undertreated. The symptoms of anxiety can vary widely from person to person, making it difficult to recognise and understand. What feels like nervousness to one person may feel like dread or panic to another.
Understanding the difference between everyday anxiety and an anxiety disorder is crucial for knowing when to seek support. While both involve worry and unease, anxiety disorders are more intense, persistent, and disruptive. Let's explore how to distinguish between the two.
Key Differences Between Anxious Feelings and Anxiety Disorders
- Duration:
Anxious Feelings: Typically short-lived and tied to a specific situation. Once the event passes or the stressor is removed, the anxiety fades.
Anxiety Disorders: Involve chronic, long-lasting anxiety that can persist for weeks, months, or even years, often without a clear trigger (NIMH).
- Cause
Anxious Feelings: Usually have an identifiable source (e.g. an upcoming exam, financial worry, conflict).
Anxiety Disorders: May arise without an obvious cause or may continue long after the initial stressor has resolved (Beyond Blue).
- Severity
Anxious Feelings: Tend to be proportionate to the situation. The level of worry matches the circumstances.
Anxiety Disorders: Reactions may seem exaggerated or out of proportion. People may be told they are "overreacting" when in fact they are experiencing a mental health condition (Mind UK).
- Impact on Daily Life
Anxious Feelings: Mild and manageable. They don’t significantly interfere with work, relationships, or daily routines.
Anxiety Disorders: Can be debilitating. Everyday tasks may feel overwhelming, and relationships, job performance, or self-care may suffer as a result (Mayo Clinic).
- Resolution
Anxious Feelings: Improve when the stressful situation resolves. The body and mind return to a state of calm fairly quickly.
Anxiety Disorders: Symptoms may be unpredictable and difficult to shake, even in the absence of any clear threat or stressor.
When To Seek Support
If your anxiety feels constant, overwhelming, or is affecting your ability to function in daily life, it may be time to consider seeking professional support, and counselling is a great place to start.
Speaking with a counsellor can help you better understand your anxiety, identify its root causes, and develop practical strategies for managing it. You don’t need a formal diagnosis to benefit from counselling; many people find that simply talking things through with a trained professional can make a significant difference.
Counselling With Grace offers a safe, non-judgmental space to explore your experiences, learn new coping skills, and regain a sense of control. Whether your anxiety is tied to specific situations or feels ever-present, support is available and you don’t have to face it alone.
Grace. x
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Let's Talk About Self-Esteem
Understanding Low Self-Esteem: What It Is and Why It Matters
Self-esteem plays a powerful role in how we see ourselves, relate to others, and navigate life. It influences the choices we make, the boundaries we set, and the way we cope with challenges.
Low self-esteem is more common than many people realise, and yet it often goes unspoken and untreated. It can affect anyone, regardless of age, background, or outward confidence. At its core, low self-esteem is characterised by a persistent feeling of not being "good enough," and it can have a significant impact on mental health and well-being (Mind UK).
Let’s explore what low self-esteem looks like, how it differs from occasional self-doubt, and what can be done to improve it.
What Does Low Self-Esteem Look Like?
Low self-esteem isn’t just about feeling down occasionally, it's a long-term pattern of negative self-perception that can touch every part of life.
Common signs include:
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Harsh self-criticism or negative self-talk
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Difficulty accepting compliments or praise
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Fear of failure or rejection
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Avoiding challenges or opportunities due to self-doubt
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Feeling unworthy, undeserving, or “less than” others
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Comparing yourself negatively to others
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Struggling with boundaries and people-pleasing
These thoughts and behaviours may become so familiar that they feel like facts, but they’re not, they’re habits of mind that can be challenged and changed (Psychology Today).
Low Self-Esteem vs. Normal Self-Doubt
Everyone has moments of insecurity. It's perfectly human to question yourself from time to time, especially in new, stressful, or emotionally charged situations.
However, low self-esteem is more persistent and deep-rooted. While self-doubt usually passes, low self-esteem often sticks around, influencing your daily decisions and relationships. It becomes a lens through which you view yourself and your place in the world (Verywell Mind).
If your inner critic is louder than your inner cheerleader most of the time, it may be a sign that self-esteem needs attention.
Why It Matters
Low self-esteem doesn’t just affect how you feel; it can impact many areas of life, including:
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Mental health: It’s closely linked to anxiety and depression, and can contribute to emotional distress.
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Relationships: People with low self-esteem may struggle with boundaries, trust, or expressing their needs.
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Work and school: Fear of failure or rejection can prevent people from pursuing goals or recognising their strengths.
Over time, low self-esteem can limit personal growth, reinforce unhealthy patterns, and reduce overall life satisfaction. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.
How Counselling Can Help
Working with a counsellor can be a powerful step toward improving self-esteem. In our sessions we can:
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Explore the roots of negative self-beliefs
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Learn to challenge and reframe self-critical thoughts
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Build self-awareness, confidence, and self-compassion
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Develop healthier relationships with yourself and others
Counselling With Grace provides a safe, supportive environment where you can begin to change the way you see yourself, not by "fixing" who you are, but by rediscovering your worth.
You don’t have to keep believing the worst about yourself. Change is possible, and you are worthy of support.
Grace. x
Let's Talk About Panic Attacks
Understanding Panic Attacks: What They Are and How to Manage Them
Panic attacks can feel frightening, overwhelming, and unpredictable. For some, they come out of the blue. For others, they’re linked to stress, anxiety, or trauma. However they show up, they often leave a person feeling powerless and unsure of what’s happening to them.
But you’re not alone, and these experiences aren’t as mysterious or unmanageable as they may feel.
What Does a Panic Attack Feel Like?
A panic attack is a sudden surge of intense fear or discomfort that peaks within minutes. Common symptoms include:
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Racing or pounding heart, chest pain
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Shortness of breath or choking sensations
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Trembling, dizziness, nausea
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Sweating, chills or hot flashes
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Feeling detached from yourself or reality
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A strong fear of losing control, fainting, or dying
Although they feel overwhelming, panic attacks are not dangerous; they’re your body reacting as if you're in crisis, even when you’re not. (NHS) (Mind UK)
Panic Attack vs. Anxiety Attack — What’s the Difference?
These terms are often used interchangeably, but there are key differences:
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Panic attacks come on suddenly, with intense physical symptoms, and typically reach their peak within 10 minutes.
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Anxiety attacks, though not a clinical diagnosis, tend to build gradually in response to stress, and symptoms may be less intense but longer-lasting.
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Panic is rapid and intense. Anxiety tends to be more prolonged and diffuse. (Anxiety UK)
Why Panic Attacks Happen
Panic attacks are part of the body’s “fight or flight” response, a survival mechanism designed to keep us safe in dangerous situations. But in a panic attack, this alarm gets triggered without a clear external danger, often due to built-up stress, unresolved anxiety, or even just the fear of having another attack.
Sometimes panic attacks are part of an anxiety disorder, but they can also occur during periods of change, after loss, or in response to high emotional stress. (Mind UK)
Practical Techniques to Manage a Panic Attack
When a panic attack strikes, these simple techniques can help you feel more grounded and reduce the intensity of symptoms:
1. Breathe Slowly and Gently
Breathe in for a count of 4, hold for 2, and breathe out for 6. Repeat until your breathing begins to settle.
Did you know... Commonly people will tell you to take a deep breath in (inhale) during a panic attack, but this might actually exacerbate your symptoms. Longer out-breaths (exhale) help calm the nervous system and reduce rapid heart rate and increased blood pressure which both contribute to panic attack symptoms.
2. Use Your Senses
Ground yourself by noticing:
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- 5 things you can see
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4 things you can touch
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3 things you can hear
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2 things you can smell
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1 thing you can taste
This can help you shift focus away from fear and into the present moment.
3. Reassure Yourself
Remind yourself: “This is a panic attack. It’s uncomfortable, but it will pass. I am safe.”
4. Physically Ground Your Body
Feel your feet flat on the floor. Press your hands together. Sit upright in your chair. These small, physical cues can help orient your nervous system.
After the Attack
You may feel shaken, drained, or emotional after a panic attack. That’s normal. Be gentle with yourself:
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Hydrate
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Rest if you can
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Remind yourself it’s over
Many people find that just knowing what a panic attack is and having a few simple tools can ease the fear of it happening again.
You Don’t Have to Go Through It Alone
If panic attacks are becoming a regular part of your life, or you’re living in fear of the next one, counselling can really help. Together, we can look at what might be triggering the panic, how to manage symptoms with more confidence, and how to feel safer in your body again.
I’ve worked with many people who once felt completely overwhelmed by panic, and together we found calmness and control.
If you’re ready to explore this with support, feel free to reach out. I’m here when you're ready.
Grace. x
Let's Talk About Burn-Out
When You’re Running on Empty: Understanding Burnout
We all feel tired or overwhelmed from time to time, especially when life is busy, work is demanding, or personal responsibilities pile up. But burnout is something different. It’s not just tiredness, it’s emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion that doesn’t go away with a good night’s sleep.
Burnout is increasingly common, and yet it can be hard to spot in ourselves until we’re already running on empty.
What is Burnout?
Burnout is a state of chronic stress that leads to physical and emotional exhaustion, detachment, and a sense of hopelessness or ineffectiveness. It often builds slowly and silently, until you reach a point where functioning like you used to feels impossible.
While it’s commonly associated with work, burnout can also arise from parenting, caregiving, studying, or just trying to meet ongoing demands without adequate rest or support.
Key signs of burnout may include:
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Feeling drained no matter how much rest you get
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Loss of motivation or sense of purpose
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Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
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Feeling irritable, numb, or cynical
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Changes in sleep or appetite
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Physical symptoms like headaches, stomach problems, or frequent illness
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A growing sense that you just can’t cope
According to the World Health Organization, burnout is characterised by feelings of energy depletion, increased mental distance from work or tasks, and reduced professional efficacy. (World Health Organization)
Burnout vs. Depression: What’s the Difference?
The symptoms of burnout and depression can overlap; both may involve exhaustion, low mood, and reduced motivation. But they’re not the same.
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Burnout is usually tied to a specific context, like work, care responsibilities, or ongoing pressure. People with burnout often feel better when they’re away from the source of stress.
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Depression tends to affect every area of life and isn’t always linked to a specific cause. It may persist regardless of rest or change in environment.
That said, burnout can lead to depression if left untreated, and it’s possible to experience both at the same time. If you're not sure which you're dealing with, speaking to a therapist can help you explore it in a safe, supportive way.
How to Start Recovering from Burnout
Burnout doesn’t fix itself by “pushing through.” It usually requires real rest, reflection, and often a change in the way we relate to ourselves and our responsibilities.
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Acknowledge it
Admitting you're burnt out isn't weakness. It's the first step to getting better. -
Create small boundaries
Start by protecting one thing: your lunch break, your bedtime, or your weekend. Small changes add up. -
Reconnect with what brings you calm
Whether it’s walking, journaling, listening to music, or simply sitting quietly, do something each day that isn’t productive, but nourishing. -
Talk to someone
Whether a friend, a partner, or a counsellor, speaking your experience aloud can lift some of the pressure and help you feel less alone.
You Don’t Have to Carry This Alone
Burnout can feel isolating, like everyone else is coping better than you, or that you should just try harder. But your exhaustion is not a personal failure. It’s a signal that something needs attention.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, detached, or emotionally numb, counselling can help you understand what’s going on beneath the surface and begin to find a different way forward.
I’ve supported many people navigating burnout; from work-related stress to caring responsibilities, long-term health issues, and emotional overload. If you’re ready to talk, I’m here to listen and provide a calm space to focus on you.
Grace. x
Let's Talk About People Pleasing
People-Pleasing: Why It’s So Hard to Say No
Do you often find yourself saying “yes” when you want to say “no”? Do you worry about upsetting others, avoid conflict at all costs, or feel responsible for how other people feel? You’re not alone, these are all signs of people-pleasing, and for many, it can feel like second nature.
But while being kind and considerate is a strength, constantly putting others first can come at a cost to your own wellbeing.
What Is People-Pleasing?
People-pleasing is more than just being nice. It often involves:
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Avoiding disagreement, even when you don’t agree
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Feeling guilty when setting boundaries
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Saying yes to things that drain your time or energy
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Taking responsibility for other people’s feelings or reactions
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Struggling to voice your own needs or preferences
At its core, people-pleasing often stems from a desire to avoid rejection and maintain a sense of safety or worth in relationships (Seltzer, 2008). For some, it may have developed early in life, particularly in environments where love or approval felt conditional.
Why It’s So Draining
When you’re constantly tuned in to what others want, it’s easy to lose touch with what you need. Over time, people-pleasing can lead to:
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Burnout and emotional exhaustion
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Resentment or frustration in relationships
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A loss of identity or sense of self
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Anxiety and low self-worth
You might notice yourself thinking, “I don’t even know what I want anymore,” or “It feels easier to just go along with things.” But constantly silencing your own needs can take a real emotional toll.
It's Not Just a Personality Trait
Many people describe themselves as “just that kind of person.” But people-pleasing isn’t fixed — and it’s not a flaw. It’s often a learned survival strategy that once served a purpose, even if it no longer helps today.
Understanding why you people-please can be the first step in changing the pattern. For example, you might ask:
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When did I first learn it wasn’t safe to upset others?
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What do I fear would happen if I disappointed someone?
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How do I feel when I express a boundary or need?
How Counselling Can Help
Counselling offers a safe, non-judgemental space to explore where these patterns come from and how they show up in your life today. You might work on:
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Uncovering the roots of your people-pleasing tendencies
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Developing healthier boundaries without guilt
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Building confidence to express your true feelings
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Learning to tolerate discomfort without self-blame
Counselling doesn’t ask you to become someone you’re not. It helps you make space for your needs alongside your care for others, rather than always putting yourself last.
It’s okay to want connection, approval, or harmony. But you’re allowed to have limits. You’re allowed to disappoint others. You’re allowed to take up space, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.
If you recognise yourself in these patterns and would like support untangling them, I’m here to help. Together, we can gently explore where these habits came from, and how you might begin to let go of them at your own pace.
Grace. x
Helpful Resources
Recommended books and webpages to get you started.
Whether you're exploring your mental health for the first time or already on your journey, the right support can make a difference. This section includes some of the books, websites, and organisations I often recommend to my own clients, all trusted, accessible, and aimed at helping you feel a little less alone. Take whatever is helpful, and leave the things that aren't.
If you'd like to talk through any of these topics more personally, you're always welcome to get in touch.
Mental Health & Wellbeing
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Mind– Support, including low-cost therapy, and information for a wide range of mental health concerns
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NHS Every Mind Matters– Practical tips and NHS-approved mental health guidance
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Mental Health Foundation– Insightful resources and self-help tools
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Samaritans– Free, confidential support available 24/7
Anxiety, Stress & Panic
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Anxiety UK– Resources and support for managing anxiety and panic attacks
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No Panic– Support services, self-help tools, and helplines for panic and anxiety disorders
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Rewire Your Anxious Brain – Catherine M. Pittman & Elizabeth M. Karle
Combines neuroscience with practical tools to help reframe anxious thoughts and responses.
- Overcoming Anxiety Without Fighting It - Dr Tim Cantopher
Explains the nature of common anxiety disorders, giving you simple and practical steps to begin management.
Low Mood & Depression
- The Curse of The Strong - Dr Tim Cantopher
Best selling book detailing the mechanics of depressive illness, medical treatments and lifestyle advice.
- Counselling For Toads - Robert De Board (I highly recommend this as an audiobook)
Using characters from the famous Wind in the Willows, this story touches upon depression, the role of counselling, self-reflection, self-awareness and self-compassion.
Grief & Bereavement
- The Plain Guide to Grief - Dr John Wilson
Explains what to expect and how to manage your grief in simple and easy to digest words.
- Nearing the End of Life - A PDF guide for relatives and friends of the dying
Abuse & Trauma Support
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Refuge– Support for women and children experiencing domestic abuse
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Rape Crisis England & Wales– Support and information for survivors of sexual violence
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SurvivorsUK– Support for men, boys, and non-binary people who have experienced sexual abuse
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NAPAC– The National Association for People Abused in Childhood, offering survivor support and guidance
- We Stand - Offers a range of support services, including counselling, and information for families affected by child sexual abuse
Long-Term Health & Medical Conditions
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Healthtalk.org– Real-life experiences of people living with health conditions
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Versus Arthritis– Support for people living with arthritis and chronic pain
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ME Association– Resources for people living with ME/CFS and post-viral conditions
- The Body Keeps The Score - Bessel Van Der Kolk
An alternative approach that heals mind, brain and body.
- When The Body Says No - Gabor Mate
Explores the role of stress in an array of common diseases, including arthritis, IBD & MS.
Neurodiversity & Diagnosis Support
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ADHD UK– Reliable information and resources for adults and children with ADHD
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Autism UK– (National Autistic Society) Resources, community support and diagnosis guidance
- Monotropism - A central resource for learning about Monotropism (as a theory) and monotropism (as a trait)
Looking for Something Tailored?
If you're interested in personalised reading or self-help recommendations, feel free to get in touch. I know for some of you, it may not feel like the right time to start counselling, so I’m always happy to share resources that could be helpful in the meantime.
Equally, I'd love to hear about any resources you've found useful that could be helpful for others.
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